Experiencing God -- Or Not

In the previous post I listed some things I have learned from (or about) atheists, agnostics and freethinkers.

Now I want to share why it will be impossible for me to ever honestly become an atheist or agnostic.  (I still do consider myself a freethinker.)

In my encounters with all kinds of thinkers I have noticed a common thread regarding how it is that people get to their various intellectual positions, and this is it:

Our beliefs seem to be a direct result of our experiences.

Most of the atheists and agnostics I have met have made a statement something like this: "God has never revealed himself to me."

-- From this statement atheists conclude that there exists no supreme being.  Along with it they are obliged to believe evolution.  Most are quite willing to do so, seeing nothing miraculous about the existence of the universe and everything in it.

-- From this same statement agnostics go to the possibility of a supreme being whose existence can be neither proven nor disproven.  They are at liberty to accept creation or evolution or a combination of the two; they may see the divine design in the universe but, since they have never personally experienced God, they will say he has withdrawn from any kind of interaction in human affairs.

Whether or not an individual has experienced the supernatural seems to be the operative function for becoming a nonbeliever (most atheists and agnostics I've met are former believers).  Here's what they have not experienced:

• Miracles or supernatural happenings
• Healings
• Answers to prayer
• Paranormal activity
• The miracles of nature

Really, there's probably no need to categorize this stuff; it all boils down to one thing:  The supernatural -- whether we experience it or not.

Excuse me a minute; I'm getting a message from God!

And this is why I will never be able to deny the existence of God or of His activity in the world.  Because I have personally experienced the supernatural -- thousands of times over.

• I have seen thousands of answers to prayer in my lifetime -- at times almost daily.
• I have personally experienced miracles -- occurrences that defy any other explanation. (I will describe one of these miracles in detail in my next post.)
• I have been physically healed many times and have seen the healing of others.
• I have had "visions" in which truth was revealed to me, truth that was always eventually proven, sometimes before the day was out, sometimes within months.
• I have not experienced the paranormal, but I believe the accounts of those who have.  My dad, a lifelong minister in the church, was the go-to guy for exorcisms, and he told me about a few of his first-hand experiences.  His exorcisms were always conducted in the name of Jesus and produced consistent results --"deliverances".  He was also called upon to "cleanse" houses from manifestations like doors that opened and closed on their own, lights going on and off, levitations of furniture, icy-cold zones in the house, etc.  He referred to these as poltergeist (playful ghost) activity, which always ceased when he invoked the name of Jesus -- and never returned.

Is an unseen power trying to communicate with us?  Is it just our imaginations?

I have lately puzzled over the reason for God's apparent selectivity about who gets to experience him and who does not.  I have had friends tell me that they searched diligently for some sort of revelation -- and never got any kind of sign that God was communicating with them in any way.

Do some people just lack the connectivity that it takes to hear from God?

Am I one of the lucky ones who is blessed with a sense of the supernatural?

Does God love some of us more than others?

When I talk with other believers about this, most of them assert that God will always be found by those who seek him with all their hearts.  I'm not so sure.  I know people who have prayed and prayed, and waited and waited, and got nothing.

I don't know.  Maybe some people are just supposed to trust the testimony of others.  If that's the case, I am here telling you now, that there is a God and he sometimes interacts with human beings.  In fact, in my life He is right in the middle of everything.

And that's why I could never not believe in God.  I would have to deny my own senses and my own experiences to dis-believe in Jesus.

It's been said that experience is the greatest teacher.  For my non-believing friends, it seems that the lack of experience is pretty powerful too.  It's how they get to a state of non-belief.

Believe me.

Reviewing the Exile, Part 1: Erasing the Boundaries

This is part of a 5-year review of my unexpected spiritual journey into the post-church wilderness.  It was five years ago that my local church blew up and I found myself  - along with 150 of my church friends - on the outside.  What I am sharing here is part of an intentional re-evaluation of my spiritual direction since my exile from the evangelical world.  What began as a 6-month sabbatical has stretched into a 5-year absence... and counting.

There are some things I have learned while on this journey....

Part One:  Erasing the Boundaries.

"He drew a circle that shut me out,

Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout,

But love and I had the wit to win,

We drew a circle and took him in."

                        -- Edwin Markham, Outwitted.

My dad quoted this poem several times in his sermons that I heard over the first 18 years of my life.  He was preaching about Godly love, about forgiveness and acceptance, about love for the unlovable.  It was a lifestyle that he lived himself.  Gene Sims was known as a magnanimous fellow, the kind that took notice of needy individuals from every strata of society, without regard for social status or wealth or intellect.  He taught his kids this respect for everybody.  He drew a large circle that took everybody in.  It was probably what made it possible for him to continue to embrace his own son - when my brother came out of the closet in his mid-thirties.  Dad just drew his circle a bit bigger - and took Ron in, along with his many gay friends and partners.  Amazing.

Actually, Dad may have moved beyond the theme of his favorite poem...

Like Jesus, he erased the circles entirely.

In his sermons, Jesus made it clear that only God was to judge people, that humans were never to judge each other.  "Do not judge, and you will not be judged.  Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned.  Forgive, and you will be forgiven." (Luke 6:37)  Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" (Matt 7:3)

If Jesus drew a circle, it was a very large one.  He was called the "friend of sinners" because he hung out with outsiders (probably because they throw better parties).  Like Jesus, I am planning to spend the rest of my life making no differentiation between insiders and outsiders.  The wheat (believers) and the tares (nonbelievers) look exactly alike, after all.(Matt 13:24-30)  Well, to be honest, since I spent my first 60 years almost entirely with insiders, I would really like to spend much of the rest with outsiders.  There's just less expectation going on, less tension, less pressure to measure up, more acceptance.

There is a mathematical concept called the Bounded Set which has a circle with points located both inside and outside the circle.  This is rather like the evangelical world today.  The whole environment - from the church service, Bible study, Christian summer camp sermon, prayer meeting, discussion group, TV and radio broadcast, song and book - yes, thousands of books - is all about who is in and who is out.  "Are you saved? (are you inside the fold?)"  "Are you faithful about daily devotions?"  "Are you tithing?"  "Did you vote Republican?"  Boundaries everywhere.

Yet, only God judges who is in and who is out.

There is another concept called the Centered Set.  This set has no divisive circle, only a bold point at the very center, then smaller points located on a field all around the center, some close, some farther away.  This is more the way I think about my earthly journey now.  I can be living in such a way that, not only am I moving closer to the center (God) but I can be helping others move closer to the center as well.  But nobody gets to declare when another is inside or outside based on their closeness or their distance from the center.  There may be a circle that God alone has established, but none of us sees the circle or knows where it is, because none of us has the right to judge another.  We must live in total mystery regarding any invisible boundary that God has established.  That frees us to "be merciful, just as your Father is merciful" (Luke 6:36)  "Because He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked." (Luke 6:35)  

God is kind to the ungrateful and wicked!  Let the same be said of me!

When Paul spoke to the Athenians about the "unknown god", he included them all inside God's circle.  He was speaking to gentiles and non-believers when he said, "God is not far from each one of us... For in him we live and move and have our being." (Acts 17:28)

This sounds like the centered set.  Everybody is present, at varying distances from the center, and nobody knows where the boundary is between in and out.

Now, here's the thing:  God apparently operates with a centered set and is the only one who knows when someone is in or out.

And here's the other thing:  The evangelical church operates mostly with the bounded set, drawing circles, making judgements every Sunday morning, and invitations to sinners to cross the next line and become an insider.  For the most part, it is oppressive  and keeps a lot of folks feeling guilty and worried and insecure.  It's a dangerous environment to be part of, even if you like to think for yourself like I do.

Now back to me:  One of the most wonderful things that has happened to me since leaving the institutional church has been the erasure of those circles.  I see everybody as the same: fallible, imperfect human beings deeply loved by God.  My job as a believer is simple:  Love.  And leave the hard judgements up to the Lord.

When Jesus said his yoke was easy and his burden was light, he really meant it.  I can testify to it.  I feel free and unburdened, because, despite the evangelical message, "there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1)  There is nothing I need to do for God but love people - people of all kinds.  Paul said the entire Law was summed up in a single command:  Love your neighbor. (Gal 5:14)

Join me.  Erase the circles, like Jesus did.  Assume that every human being is on the playing field somewhere, and go from there.

Love without judgement and without boundaries.  Just love.

Erasing the exclusive circles does not come easily for the evangelical community, but there are many, like my dad, who have set the pace.  "There's a wideness in God's mercy!" Let there be a wideness in our lives as well.

*For an excellent explanation of churches with Bounded and Centered Sets see Jeremy Myers here.