What I Am Learning from Atheists

I have made good on a pledge I made to myself the day I realized that I would not likely ever return to church.  I said that, having spent the first 60 years of my life enjoying the company and serving the needs of believers and religious insiders, I would spend the rest of my life hanging out with non-believers and outsiders.

So Kaye and I started attending meet-ups for freethinkers, agnostics, and atheists (actually, we were doing that before we left the church).  We have made some great friends, and we have met a few real jerks  -- It's just like at church.

Here are some things that believing and non-believing thinkers have in common:

• We are real people who live real lives.  We love, we hate, we are proud, we are humble, we laugh, we cry, and we all make mistakes -- and a few of us admit it.

• There are all personality types in both camps.  It's no different than any other cross-section or grouping of people.  Some people are fun to be with, others are not.

• There are closed-minded, dogmatic people in both camps.  You would think that folks who label themselves as freethinkers would be a bit more willing to entertain another's point of view, but it's not always so.  Atheists can have made-up minds that ignore the facts just as well as religious folks can.

• Both are people of faith.  That may sound like a contradiction in terms, but many of the non-believers I have met are full of faith.  One big unproven thing in which they have a lot of faith is evolution (though they are quite confident about it).  I mean, think about it, they must embrace the idea that we evolved from one-celled slime molds to the intelligent, high-functioning human race that we are today -- by pure chance.  Or rather, by an against-all-odds string of random chances that is nothing short of miraculous.  That is highly counterintuitive and takes more faith than most of us can muster.         On the other hand, many believers take literally every story in the Bible, including an account of a flood that covered the whole earth to wipe out all but eight people and the animals.  There are big logistical problems with that one, but hey, believers are big on miracles.  So both groups are obliged to embrace some really fantastic stuff.

• We make un-deserved and demeaning statements about each other.  Atheists belittle believers as lacking intelligence.  Yet atheists number less than 10% of the US population.  Are they all in the 90th percentile or above in IQ?   No.  So a basic glance at statistics indicates there are are far fewer intelligent people who are atheists than those who are believers.  Both camps are populated by great minds, and both camps are populated by imbeciles.        On the other hand, believers label atheists as evil, angry, unhappy folks who are just mad at God for some reason.  Well, not the ones I know.   My atheist friends are mostly nice, normal people who are out to make the world a better place.  It's probably just the odds, but I have known more angry Christians than angry atheists.

• Both groups come up with some really dumb ideas.  I've heard some really bazaar statements made in both groups.  I once heard an atheist say he couldn't believe in God because a few centuries ago the church castrated the young choir boys to keep their voices high as long as possible.  It must have been a sensitive spot for him.  Still, I think TV and camp meeting evangelists get the prize for the most outlandish zingers made  -- don't even get me started.        On the other hand, both groups are capable of coming up with some really good stuff.   I guess that kinda comes with all personality types being present.

• We look alike.  Believers and non-believers come from the same cross-sections of society (although there are more atheists in academic communities) and really aren't that much different than each other.  You can't tell by looking or listening, and many atheists don't willingly share their minority beliefs in casual settings for fear of unpleasant reprisals.  For believers, it's much like witnessing, but believers have a far greater chance of acceptance simply because they are in the majority.

I have really enjoyed my encounters with free-thinkers, atheists and agnostics, and I'm planning to continue.  Kaye and I have made some friends at these meetings who we hope will be life-long friends.  As an independent thinker, I have found the discussions much more fascinating than those at the church Bible study.  Maybe it's just that at church I've heard it all so many times, re-hashed and re-articulated, but always within the same parameters.  I like thinking outside the box, and have been fortunate to bump into some wonderful outsiders who are like me in that.

Would you like to try something different?  Maybe start with a visit to Meetup.com and do a search for Freethinker, Atheist, Agnostic and see what comes up in your neighborhood.

Disclaimer:  You should really think about whether you are ready for this before visiting such a group.  Are you willing to listen to beliefs and points of view that are radically different than your own?   Truth is a wonderful thing, but it can also be very disturbing if you're not ready for it, and of course, not everything you hear at one of these meetings will be the truth (again, very much like church).  You need to be able to sort things out for yourself -- or with like-minded friends.  What's your motivation for going?  I was looking for some interesting and refreshing conversation with people who didn't always fill in the blanks with religious cliches and pat answers.

Have a good time!   And if you don't have a good time, then try something else.  Maybe just let other people tell you what to believe all your life.  It's a lot easier.