"Guilt should not be a part of a believer's experience," asserted Ben with a firmness that made his normally placid dark brown eyes intensify. He seemed more like a seasoned old sage than the mid-twenties Mosaic* that he was. His journey out of organized church had not been unusual at all; he was one of the 90 percent of church youths in America who quit going as soon as they graduate from high school.Ben had been raised in a faithful evangelical family, the eldest of three sons of the church worship leaders; his mom and dad had beautiful singing voices and never failed to raise the inspiration level of the congregation every Sunday morning. Though it was located in a farm community in rural Michigan, the church was unusual in that it was blessed with talent, and not just musically, but in just about every way. The youth pastor was a teen magnet because of his friendly, goofy antics, and his down-to-earth spirituality, and there was an adventure sports director who organized trips from backpacking to spelunking to paintball and everything in between. There were even cross-cultural missions to Mexico and beyond. Being a teenager in this church was a lot of fun.
After a year of classes at a community college, he became restless, tired of his home in this sleepy place and took off to see the world. He landed in New York City and rented an apartment with several other guys and found a job at a high-end restaurant where he waited tables and was a valet, parking Porsches and Mercedes every day.
But the big city environment can swallow people whole, and Ben started to be concerned that he could lose his life or his soul here as the other guys were into things he felt could be harmful for him and he felt himself being drawn in. At the end of a year he returned home-- and arrived just in time to experience the violent split of his home church.
Ben's old friend, that popular youth pastor, had been serving as interim after the lead pastor moved away, and even though he had the support of 80 percent of the members, a small faction of his detractors had somehow blocked his hiring as head pastor, and now two-thirds of the constituents were leaving; they had seen him as the champion of an organic movement that now seemed impossible to realize in this newly restrictive setting.
Ben asked for a Bible study in the home of an older couple whom he respected, because he wanted to ask questions and he knew they were independent thinkers and would not brush him off or just deliver the usual pat answers that young questioners often get.
"What if there are no rules?" this older couple asked him, and Ben had been at once startled and intrigued by the question. It seemed that in the church the rules were already established and nobody could question them. These guys questioned the very existence of the rules! Incredible. Ben asked his first question, starting at square one: "Is there a God?"
They spent several weeks openly talking about every religious and spiritual thing, and Ben's friends started to come. Pretty soon there were a dozen and then twenty in this think tank of sorts, and they were taking the lids off the old religious structures with the help of Frank Viola, Donald Miller, Shane Claiborne, and others, and lining it all up with scripture. Lights came on in Ben's mind and a whole new world of spiritual depth and freedom developed for him.
After a year of this he decided to venture to a more radical experience and signed up for a year with Youth With a Mission (YWAM) and was soon stationed in a muslim country in Asia, teaching English to university students. Wow, what a trip, and what a long way from his quiet little Michigan home! That's a pretty remarkable journey, and all of this before the age of 25.
At this writing, Ben has not been back to church in a long time. Instead, on a Sunday afternoon in St. Augustine, Florida, where he now lives, you might find him downtown with his guitar, hanging out with the homeless on the street or in the park, or he might be chilling with some of his new friends and living the life of Christ in the most natural ways that he can think of. He's taking classes at the community college and making plans to pursue a musical quest for a few years, forming a traveling band with some old friends and letting the creative juices flow and seeing where it takes them.
Next time you are in St. Augustine, if you have the time, stop in at the Rhett's Restaurant, a jazz piano bar where he works, see how he's doing-- and leave a big tip or some other kind of encouragement.
Oh, and about the "No Guilt" thing-- Ben would suggest to all followers of Jesus that you really plug in to Romans 8:1, for there is no more condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, so if your local church is continually heaping judgement on you, maybe you should get out of there for a while for your own spiritual well-being.
One more post script: Last year Ben wrote and recorded a song that speaks to his original question of whether there's a God. It's called, "Sometimes", and some of the lyrics are, "I know that you're here, right with me, I know that you love me, I know that you care, I know that you're there, by my side, by my side...."
So there's a true story of a modern day post-modern. Do you know anybody like Ben?
*Mosaic is the label given to the generation of current 16 to 27-year-olds. See how they feel about Christianity in the book, unChristian, What a New Generation thinks about Christianity, and What to do About it, by David Kinnaman, director of The Barna Group.
Also from Kinnaman, 6 Reasons Young Christians Leave the Church: http://www.barna.org/teens-next-gen-articles/528-six-reasons-young-christians-leave-church
Also see: Frank Viola, Pagan Christianity; Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz; Shane Claiborne, The Irresistible Revolution.a
