Friday, August 3, 2012

Loving Gay Jesus

  Okay, I managed to stay out of the controversy for several days, but finally ran out of patience.  I can't sit by quietly while Christians appear to be so unloving and unChristlike - while thinking they are standing for Christian principles or trying to keep America a "Christian" nation (an urban myth that I wrote about in an earlier blog).
  I'm talking about the whole Chick-fil-A fiasco in which thousands of conservative Christians came out in support of the restaurant owner, Dan Cathy, who came under fire from gays for exercising his First Amendment right to free speech when he made a public declaration of his opposition to gay marriage.  Cathy had also donated millions of dollars to organizations whose main purposes are to oppose gay rights.
  The point that I want to make in this writing is that there is a better way - a more Christlike way - to defend Christian principles, and that is to ask ourselves all over again, "What would Jesus do?" and then thoughtfully and deliberately act on the answer to that question.  Jesus did not judge the sexually immoral in his time; he loved them (Jesus did judge the self-righteous religious leaders of the time).
  In fact, a foundational premise of Christianity is that of love and respect, putting others ahead of ourselves as presented in the Golden Rule and the First and Second Great Commandments.  The Golden Rule says, "Treat others the way you would like to be treated,"(Luke 6:31) and the Great Commandments state, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and mind, and Love your neighbor as yourself."(Matt. 22:37)
  How is it that human nature - and conservative politics - carry us so far from the heart of Christ?  How are followers of Jesus so naturally inclined to behave in ways that are contrary to his commands?  He says, "Do not judge or you will be judged" (Matt. 7:1) yet we think we are helping Christ when we judge gays.  Exactly what he said not to do.  He said, "Love your enemies, do good to those who abuse you, and bless those who curse you," (Luke 6:27-28) yet in our demonstrations of opposition to gay rights, we very clearly convey to every homosexual, "I hate you."
  Let me be clear:  There is not one gay in America who understood the actions of Chick-fil-A supporters as a demonstration of Christian love.
  Now before you "de-friend" me, let me explain how I got where I am.  There are really four people responsible:  Jesus; my parents, Gene and Betty Sims; and my gay brother, the late Ron Sims.
  Ron came out when he was in his thirties and was HIV positive for fourteen years before he died of AIDS at the age of forty-five.  Fourteen years for the Sims family to live with him, react to him, love him.  My parents set the example of Christ for all of us.  In a very conservative household, as a pastor and wife in a very conservative evangelical denomination, they loved him unconditionally.  They met every one of his gay and lesbian friends that he brought to family gatherings.  They shook hands and hugged every partner he lived with.  They traveled hundreds of miles to visit him in his home and befriended all of his companions.  Never once did my folks preach at him; they saw it as unloving, and besides, as a former champion Bible quizzer, he already knew the references by heart.
  And the rest of us followed their example.  All four of his siblings traveled great distances to be next to him on his death bed.  We hugged him, we sang to him, we held his hands until he breathed his last.
  Those attending him were wide-eyed in astonishment.  As hospice workers in a diverse community, they had attended the passing of many gays, but this was the first where a gay man's entire family were at his side, loving on him till the end.  "They always die alone," they told us, "especially the ones from religious families."
Ron Sims,  1954-1999
  And I thought to myself, "Where is the love of God in that?"  Followers of Christ, of all people, born and bred in the church, taught to memorize the Golden Rule on the heels of John 3:16, should be able to summon a little more of the love of Jesus from deep down in their hearts.  That's what Jesus was all about.
  So this is why I have gay friends.  And this is why I have muslim friends (That's another story).  And this is why I stick up for the underdog, and this is why I think twice before signing an online petition or forwarding so-called Christian banners that people tell me are in defense of Christian principles.  Because it seems that in America, sometimes standing up for "Christian principles" means that I have to deny the very heart of Christ.
  
  Yesterday I posted a short comment on Facebook suggesting that if more believing Americans had a gay friend, they would put a lid on the rhetoric.  If you know and love someone who is gay, you will think twice about how your views and your comments affect them.  Mind you, we all have a constitutional right to think and say what we want, but as followers of Christ we don't have the right to hurt another human being.
  What would Jesus do?

* * * * * * * * * * * 

  Okay, I have posted my position on a Christlike response to homosexuals, but let me add some perspective on the issue itself.
  There are a total of 6 verses in the Bible that seem to condemn homosexual activity (none that condemn homosexual orientation), and there are nearly 600 verses that stress caring for the poor and needy.  This tells me that it is a hundred times more important to God that we give our attention to the poor and the needy than to give our attention to making sure that gays know the truth about their sin (Believe me, they already know what we think the Bible says about their sin).
  In Ezekiel 16:49-50 God says to Israel, "Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned: they did not help the poor and needy.  They were haughty and did detestable things before me.  Therefore I did away with them as you have seen."  According to this, Sodom was not destroyed because of homosexuality but because of arrogance and a lack of concern for the poor and needy.
  I think this describes many American Christians today:  Arrogant toward gays, overfed (America is officially the "fattest" nation in the world), and unconcerned about the poor and needy.
  If the Ezekiel passage expresses God's priorities, the prophets among us should be blaming our selfish selves rather than the gays the next time a destructive hurricane or earthquake wipes out a sector of our wealth and real estate.

* * * * * * * * * * * 

  BTW, my title "Loving Gay Jesus" comes from my understanding of Matthew 25:40.  "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."  Jesus identifies himself with the oppressed, not with the religious.  We should do the same.
  If you don't have any gay friends, I suggest you find some.  Do your best to befriend a gay - at least friend some on Facebook - before the end of this year.  It will change the way you think and talk and behave with them and about them.  Actually, you may not have to look very far; they are probably right under your nose but would not dare come out until they feel they are safe with you.  That means you'll have to tone it down a bit.    Thank you!


 The President of the Barna Group, David Kinnaman, in his book, unChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity... and Why It Matters, says that most 16 to 29-year-old Americans see Christians as: 1) Anti-Gay, 2) Judgmental, 3) Hypocritical.  I see this as harmful to the true cause of Christ and intend to do my personal best to change this perception to something closer to what Christ intended.
  

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Finally! Someone with some sense! Thank you for writing this!

stacy said...

Thank you, Dad, for sharing this.

Tami Parker said...

Bob,
Check out Jen Hatmaker's blog (her last two "basement" posts). I think they will really resonate with you. One section that really hit home with me:
"I’m leaving the paradigm that lets me cherry pick the sins that make me most uncomfortable for condemnation while conveniently leaving my personal struggles out of the public sphere. I suspect I’d find it unpleasant if folks picketed my house waving signs that screamed: “PRIDE IS OF THE DEVIL! GOSSIPS ARE GOING TO HELL! SELFISH WIVES WILL GET WHAT’S COMING TO THEM!”"

Anonymous said...

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for writing this. I identify as both gay and transgender and this post resonates very deeply with me. I would be proud to call you friend and I think you set a fine example of what Christians should strive to be.

Joseph Keyes said...

Well said. Focusing on what should be uniting us is so much more healthier than focusing on what divides us, witnesses by the author’s citing the elegant simplicity of Christ’s message. Unfortunately, that message has been usurped and distorted beyond all recognition by those needing to politicize Christianity and turn it in an exclusive club. Whenever I read a rant about evil, sinful homosexuals by some member of the right-wing “moral majority,” my heart goes out to both the ranter and the target of their hatred. You can’t hug and shake hands at the end of Sunday services only to spend the rest of the week judging and condemning your friends, co-workers, and family members for your own perceived wrongs for which you’ve judged them. The Good Samaritan could have easily passed by the stranger who had been robbed, brutalized and left for dead by the side of the road—but he didn’t. He saw a poor soul in need of help and helped him. Maybe a good place to start….

Tim Queen said...

I thank you for posting the Gay Jesus blog. I thought that I was the only one getting more disillusioned with each passing day. The lack of tolerence and the unintended judgement was so clear to me, also. I feel so refreshed to know that your whole family stood by Ron as he lived his life. You all kept the same values that your father preached to me from the pulpit when I was growing up and I still aspire to them today. And I can tell that you are still the thinker, dreamer and realist that I grew up with. If you taught high school school with this same insight then those were very fortunate students.

Denise (Odoerfer) Osborne said...

I am 48 years old and I still feel the influences you and Kay had on my life during my teenage years. Thank you so much for putting into words so clearly what I feel in my heart and have tried so hard to explain to others. I love you guys, always will. Thank you for living Christianity.....

Anonymous said...

Thank You Bob so true I too have been so troubled by this and so much that has been happening in the name of Jesus and Truth that is simply based on what can best be described as lies
Dale Potter

Kaye said...

Wow; that really helps us step into the other's shoes, doesn't it, Tami? Thanks for posting that! I just bumped into Jen's blog recently & now I'm thinking I may read more.

StephanieW said...

As someone who is on their way to seminary, I am so glad to hear from a person of faith who gets it. It always makes me sad to see someone who's understanding of the Father is angry and punishing. As I tell my Sunday School class, "We lucked out with the New Testement God...Jesus was a crazy hippie telling you that when someone steals your robe, give him your tunic too" and "those without sin cast the first stone". I do not think homosexuality is a sin, a choice or a punishable offence. It is decriptive, like having blond hair or blue eyes...you can try to hide those too, but you will still have blond hair and blue eyes.
Thank you so much for your words and your calm in the storm.

Lowell said...

The Spirit is moving because you are not alone on your journey. Those who often quote the end of Romans 1 as justification for bashing one sin over another often fail to turn the page and read the beginning of Romans 2:

"1. You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. 2. Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. 3. So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? 4. Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance?"

I am from Canada and we don't mix our politics with our faith so much, but we are just as self righteous - forgetting that it is the righteousness of Christ that saves us. The fact is, Romans is correct... we all do the SAME THINGS, meaning - our slander and gossip is just as wrong as any other person's issues. When will we as Christians see this and start to love people equally again.

I prefer to call myself a follower of Christ because the meaning of the word Christian has changed in North America... (just like the word marriage has changed). Yet, even as I write this I need to be careful to show love to the very fellow believers who are caught up in the 'gay bashing' movement.

Thanks for an excellent article. I will pass it on in and try to do it in love...

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your true post . To win this kingdom for Christ is through love not judgement.

Anonymous said...

I think this is an important point that we, as Christians, must be willing to raise. Whatever the Bible says about homosexual activity, that is no excuse for homophobia. And I believe that if we raise our voice, it can make a difference.

Some years ago I was leaving a Sunday morning service at a Missionary Church when I heard someone, a regular attendee of that congregation, make some very hateful, homophobic comments to a couple of other people in the foyer. I was uncomfortable with confronting them at the time, but I did later that day discuss my concerns with the pastor about how people could feel comfortable saying those things in church. He, a very traditional and conservative pastor, was appalled.

The next Sunday his sermon was about reaching out to and loving those different from us, not being self-satisfied in our own sanctity but remembering that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of the Lord. He talked about the importance of moving outside the cocoon of those who were like us and getting to know the world. He also stressed how Jesus himself spent so much time among and caring for the troubled of this world, so how could we consider ourselves above that.

The overall idea was better and more coherently expressed than I have been able to do, but the important thing is that I doubt it would have been said at all if I had not raised the objection. This was an older, very conservative preacher, but he knew hate when he heard it and was not about to let it go unanswered in his congregation.

Kaye said...

“it’s God’s job to judge, the Holy Spirit’s job to convict, and my job to love.”

- Billy Graham